


amateur matchmakers

by delimeful



Series: Delimeful's Giveaway Fics [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Royality, M/M, Matchmaking, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24070105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delimeful/pseuds/delimeful
Summary: After being friends with them for over a year, Virgil learns that Roman and Patton aren’t, in fact, dating.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Delimeful's Giveaway Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660312
Comments: 6
Kudos: 154





	amateur matchmakers

It all started on a normal Tuesday afternoon. Virgil had just gotten back to the apartment, and after suffering through three back-to-back classes, he was ready for the day to be over. **  
**

Luckily, his boyfriend was sitting on the couch in the perfect position for Virgil to sprawl out over his lap. “Ughh,” he complained eloquently.

Logan raised an amused eyebrow at him, holding his laptop up in the air to prevent Virgil from knocking it onto the floor like a particularly malignant cat. “I assume you have a good reason for interrupting my essay?” 

“Uuughhhh,” Virgil responded succinctly, turning his head to give Logan a dour look. “My professors are still being useless.” 

“I see. A valid complaint, to be sure.” Logan set the computer aside, and began methodically carding his fingers through Virgil’s hair, proving once more that he was too good for him. “Anything specific?”

“Nothing you haven’t heard before. None of them take me seriously.” Virgil’s shoulders slowly began to lower, Logan’s ministrations proving as effective as always. “And I couldn’t even complain about it to Ro or Pat between classes, because they’re busy having one of their little lover’s spats.”

Logan’s hands stilled for a moment. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Virgil sighed. He studied his peeling nail polish absently. “Who do you think will crack first? My money’s on Roman apologizing, because he’s wrong about many things.”

Logan snorted slightly, the undignified noise bringing a fond grin to Virgil’s face. “While I’m sure the two of them will have a heart-to-heart over whatever infernal issue is bothering them this time, calling it a “lover’s spat” is inaccurate, seeing as they’re not actually romantically entangled.” 

“What?” Virgil said, propping himself halfway up and narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend. “Yes, they are.”

Logan looked down at Virgil with the expression of long-suffering that he usually wore when talking about his two best friends. “Despite my overt comments, they are not.” 

“Roman gives Patton a kiss on the cheek every morning when he leaves for class?” 

“A ‘friend kiss’ is what they call it,” Logan answered dryly. 

“They’re all over each other all the time!” Virgil protested, and then paused. “Okay, actually that’s just how they are. But still, they spend more time doing mushy romance stuff than we do, and we’re actually dating!” 

A furrow creased in Logan’s brow. “Should I be endeavoring to increase the amount of ‘mushy romance stuff’ in our daily routine?” 

Virgil felt his expression soften, and he reached out to lace fingers with his boyfriend automatically, like some kind of sap. “You do just fine, Lo. I’m not sure my cold, shriveled heart could take any more affection without giving out on me.” 

Logan’s hand trailed down to Virgil’s neck, checking his pulse. “Your heart seems perfectly whole and healthy to me.” 

“Heresy and slander,” Virgil hissed, and then betrayed himself by leaning his face into Logan’s warm palm anyways. 

-

Patton and Roman were indescribably clueless. It was a fact of life, one that Virgil just now seemed to be fully realizing. 

Still, seeing as their previous conversation had informed him, Logan had assumed that the matter was settled, and Virgil now understood what Logan had despaired over for years. 

He was proven wrong when his boyfriend burst out of his room the following morning, thunderously indignant. 

“That’s it, we’re doing something about this,” he said, scowling all the way over to the table where Logan was sipping from his #1 Teacher mug. He slapped his phone down on the table, sliding it over. “Look at what Princey said!” 

Logan leaned forwards, scanning the screen curiously.

> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  so. when were you going to tell me that you and patton arent a thing
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:**  
>  What on Earth do you mean, Count Woe-laf? A thing?
> 
> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  y’know. like. you like him. 
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:**  
>  Of course I like him? Everyone likes Patton!!! Even you, Little Bo Weep!
> 
> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  no.  
> well yes  
> obviously everyone likes patton  
> i mean you like him in a different way. a romantic way.
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:**  
>  HAHAHAH. VERY FUNNY VIRGIL.  
> NEW TOPIC: DO THE RESIDENTS OF HALLOWEENTOWN QUALIFY AS EVIL 
> 
> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  of course they don’t they live by the subjective morals of hallowe  
> …  
> Hey.   
> don’t try and distract me with movie debates we’re talking about you right now
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:  
> ** Whaaat? I would never try to distract from talking about me. I’m a delight.
> 
> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  you’re acting like a de-fright.   
> ok this is going to sound insane coming from me  
> but  
> why dont you just ask him out?  
> he obviously likes you a lot too
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:**  
>  LA LA LA SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU IM PERFORMING THE EIGHTH SONG OF THE ACCLAIMED BROADWAY MUSICAL WICKED TOO LOUD
> 
> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  this is a text conversation
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:**  
>  UGH.   
> Look, Brad Pitiful, we all know I’m the pinnacle of romance. If Patton liked me back, I would KNOW, okay??? 
> 
> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  i literally watched him carry you bridal style to a homemade picnic three days ago. 
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:**  
>  Patton would do that for anyone! He’s just a really good friend like that.
> 
> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  he tucked your hair behind your ear and called you honey
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:**  
>  Platonically!!!!!!!!
> 
> **“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT” vine on loop:**  
>  roman.
> 
> **Really Obviously Muscular And Nice:**  
>  Sorry to disappoint, Incredible Sulk, but I am NOT embarrassing myself today, and that is final. 

Logan pushed the phone back. “I see he remains as obstinate as always.” 

Virgil threw his hands up emphatically. “Right? He is so thick headed sometimes, it’s infuriating! Except this time I’m infuriated on his behalf! Awful!” 

Logan hummed, taking another sip of coffee. “You two have certainly come far from when we first moved in.” At the start of their freshman year, Roman and Virgil had been at each other’s throats more often than not. 

“We all have,” Virgil mumbled, falling into the chair next to Logan. “Those two just haven’t quite caught up.” 

After a few moments, he turned to look at Logan with one of those wry half-smirks that meant trouble. “Looks like I’m going to have to prove Princey wrong again, huh?” 

Logan raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you certain this is a good idea?”

“I am never certain about anything. You know this,” Virgil replied dryly. “However. I know it _will_ be a good idea, because I’m enlisting your help to make a plan.” 

Well. He did like plans. 

“Where do we start?”


End file.
